Ram Singh Will Always be Ram Singh!!

I read in today's newspaper that Ram Singh is shamelessly unapologetic about what he has done, as per the police statement. For those readers who don't know who this person is, he is one of the perpetrators of the recent rape and brutal molestation of a 23 year old girl in a moving bus in Delhi. The girl has undergone a series of surgeries and by her willingness to live is fighting for her life. Now if you will ask, why it sparked so much nationwide protest and outrage when such cases happen daily, reported or unreported, then probably the answer would be the barbarism shown in this case by the criminals outclassed other cases of such ilk. This reflects so many things about male mentality in our society, which need to be deliberated upon. This post is an end result of the same deliberation.

We, The Men, in general, whether we accept or refute, have always been predominantly condescending and ill behaved towards women since the primitive times itself. We have imbibed this attitude from our forefathers over the centuries.The physical strength we possess made us believe that we are omnipotent among the genders. Go back to the 'earlyman' age, when humans had just food and shelter as the only need for survival,  men being physically strong used to go for hunting and women used to cook as that's what they both were capable of doing in best way possible, respectively, as per their capabilities & awareness. Also for shelter, it was the man himself, who actually erected the house of bamboo and grass for he only had the physical strength to do so between the two. These activities brought a sense of arrogance in us which translated into a very dangerous thought around - "Without us they can't survive". This further led to an enforced dominance of ours over our women to which they succumbed being the "PHYSICALLY" weaker gender and we started enjoying this power we were given with all the arrogance in this world ignoring the sheer existence of women, leave apart how they felt about this. 

As things moved on, all the "mighty" men of all the households got together and made the much required social structure, rules and practices but at the same time made sure that they don't lose out on the dominance and power they are commanding at  a given time, at the level of hierarchy they sit, in the society they are a part. This mentality gets reflected in our age old practices like caste system, dowry, girl leaving her house after marriage, accepting the family name of the boy's and host of other practices. Now since this thing has come up, I will quickly ask one question to girls of modern times out there - Why do you so readily change your family name (or even add the surname of your husband) after getting married? Two reasons - out of the love you share or the guy & his family force you to do so. Now if the reason is the former, how many times your guy has voluntarily offered to change or add your family name to his? Actually here it is important to know the mentality behind making this rule. The mentality was that hereonwards being a girl, you are not supposed to have your own identity, which you were having since your childhood. Because once I change your name, you will be a different person altogether. You will have lost the linkage to your childhood, the association with your parents, the life you have lived so far. You will feel weaker and dependent. So then you have to accept me as your savior. I will protect you and protect you from whom - the men of my breed who are out there to make you their prey. Ironical right? Heh!!! I'm trying to say just one thing to the fellow men out there that to make your wife accept you and your family and respect them, doesn't need changing her name and thus her identity. Love can't be enforced. The respect and love will come from the reciprocation on the part of you and her new family. I apologize for the digression here, though it wasn't one, I suppose.  

Now once these rules are framed using all our shrewdness & the practices are given  to the society to be followed, we started neglecting the very feeling of those who played an equally vital role in the existence of the society we were and are part of - our women. We made sure that we stop their upliftment for if they get aware and educated they might start questioning the undisputed supremacy of ours. Thankfully there were few angelic souls out there who dared to uplift their women and gave them importance and recognition they deserved. Its because of  such people I'm able to write this and there are sensitive, educated and aware men and women out there in this country. 

We men, stooped in our manly arrogance, need to understand one important thing here that a woman is created by the Almighty to bring life to this planet. How we exploit it ourselves is a different thing. The creation of a human happens inside a woman for which she has to go through few painful days of menstrual cycle in which she loses blood in the range of 35 mL to 80mL every month. With blood loss she suffers from the iron deficiency and apart from that host of other complexities in her body gets build up which God only has given her to make her conceive a new life. All these, she endures with an omnipresent smile just to make you feel happy. And we deem her weak. Damn we!!

So with respect to the points above, if we go on talking about "Rape", we see that it comes out of a culture, a value, a belief, a thought, an arrogance which has been inculcated in the rapist by his parents, relatives, family members, friends and society in which he has grown up since his childhood hence all these people would be called rapists, not alone him. Rape is a character. It can't be changed in a day or two by enforcement, light punishments, threats, candle light marches etc. It will take generations to change that character. It is an attitude change we are talking about here.

The key here is sensitization. It will be wrong to say that it comes from education alone. It is one of the ways. What is sought here is not a post graduate degree, as ironically the number of degrees don't bring sensibility and sensitivity in a person. Its just about the fact that whether you can leave your arrogance and self obsession behind and try to look at what others feel and think who live along with you. Learn to recognize their existence as they deserve the same love and respect that you do. There are uneducated families living out there who know how to respect their women. This proves this fact that it isn't education alone.

The need of this hour is law and order enforcement and able governance. Lets protest for that. Ram Singh can't be changed. He will always be Ram Singh. We just need to scare him and make him afraid so that he has to think 100 times before he goes on committing such beastly crime. Girls, there's simply no need to plead to men to treat you respectfully because those who don't, won't. And my dear "Sensitive Men", I would simply say that as God is not taking blood out of you every month, use that extra strength which you are gaining, to help women to exist respectfully as you do. Don't be a blind and deaf spectator.

Ram Singh, you better don't forget that a rod can be entered in you as well and if you don't change now, one of us will do that very soon to you and that will definitely be blatantly & mercilessly done, which your manhood won't be able to endure. Woe betide'!!

The Recherché Ink. So Very Precious :)

Every year, in this month, as I open the most awaited envelop, I find the same two things. It excites me even more as I don't expect it any time. Those couple of threads, wrapped inside a sheet of paper, stapled as pedantically as one can do it and manoeuvred beautifully with all the worldly care, reach me with lot of anticipations from both the  sender and the receiver. 

To start with, I want to put in almost the same kind of effort and care to pull out those staple pins,  as put in to make this packet. As I go along and finally manage to open it, I find that the effort was hardly anything as compared to that of the sender or perhaps I purposefully didn't want to belittle those efforts - which has all the worldly love in them. I unfold the paper thereon and I find those two strings for which I wait so eagerly every year. 

This indeed is very special but at the same time the most expected thing by a brother during the time of Raksha Bandhan. Isn't it? Now, what makes this more special and precious every time, is the letter which wraps these threads under them. The very presence of the letter drowns you in those amazing and adorable feelings at the first place. It's embellished with those hand written pearls which engulf all the universal love inside them. The whole page is suffused with that care and concern which you can think of and leaves you to savour those eternal feelings for the rest of your life. This feeling lingers there for long, long enough to make you feel so very special. It makes you deliberate on the relationships you share with the sender who is your adorable and the most lovable little sister. She sneaks out time from her busy schedule to pick her pen up and write what she thinks about you, to put down all her care and love for you in that white sheet and makes you realize that how so important and loving you are to someone. 

What made me put this up here is the age we are in when people don't have time even for their loved ones - leave apart friends. At the first place, being very optimistic, we wait for those e-mails from them. To take those hopes further we decide to get content with those smses. Eventually we feel very lucky if one of them knock your door finally. In such a time, when you are sure of receiving these letter-gems every year, from your loved ones, you give wings to your emotions, as I did. 

Each time, I open that letter, I feel so special reading what "Chaand" - my sister - wants to say to me and expects from me and each of those times, I take out my handkerchief to wipe out my tears dropped on those words written over the letter saying "Miss you Bhaiya and Love you so much". 

I fold the letter, put it inside and say it loud - Love you too so very much Chaand and Manu (Mr Lil Bro). You both are just everything to me. :)

Some Random Thoughts........... :)

Its amazing to see grown ups behaving like kids sometimes ! Such a sight today, further strengthened the idea of living your present to the fullest in me. Who knows - Kal Ho na Ho :). Further to add... We should never kill the kid within ourselves. He teaches you to be carefree when you try being sincere, To be mischievous when you try being matured. He brings fun in life which we often tend to lose living our lives with all the worldly tensions. Trust me! This is how life actually moves. Be a kid, live a funny life :)



An incipient love expects explicit expressions...But as it matures, things go tacit way. Gestures say a lot. You don't need Billet-douxs, flowers or those daily good night kisses. A "Hi" over the phone delivers a lot more than what THOSE 3 words used to express.....Feelings ooze out more often. Understanding strengthens further and you put the phone over the cradle saying nothing great but just with those lovely and adorable hallucinations to follow :)

A Red 'DOT' Kiss!! Too "Hypocrite" to Resist Afterall.

Disclaimer: The letter below should not be deemed offensive in any manner, as the thoughts expressed in it were being very naively nurtured in my brain for quite a long time and finally they found their way out today in the same naive way through this sacrosanct message to God - The Almighty, without any intention of inflicting any kind of malice on my "Meat" loving friends out there. This just vents out my genuine feelings in open. Anyone is free to comment on the same with all the worldly freedom :)

Dear Almighty,

Since the time I have come to Goa, every single day so far, I have seen all kind of fishes, chickens, prawns, lobsters, crabs,....Wait a minute...List seems to be eternal - So, rather I should say - the complete animal kingdom you have created so far - being savored by my fellas on each of the dining tables I had my meals on. Well! That's indeed a splendid spectacle. They are the non vegetarian friends of mine. I respect their appetite and the avid love they possess for their innocent kingdom mates. Wait a Minute! Are you......? Nooo! Not at all! They are not like that as you think they are. Please Lord! Now who says they are bad? Woe Be'tide to those who feel or say so!! After all they are the part of the food chain and are certainly adhering to the theories and rules proposed by all the Darwins born in this world so far.

Here, I must tell you about one very important and adorable trait you are missing in them. They are very religious souls. They have full faith and an irrefutable belief in you - Yes! The God yourself. O Almighty, in this 21st century,where on earth you will find so many followers, when its brimming with atheists all around? You should be proud of these true devotees of yours. So what, if they stuff their tummies with Butter Chickens? How does it matter if they gormandize those delicious Rogan Joshes and Kababs as soon as they get served on the table? What difference does it make if they don't spare any single chance to grab their favorite palatable Crabs, kill them, rip their shells off from their body and relish their curries with a divine satisfaction, remembering you at the same time with extreme sense of culinary satisfaction?

Yes. I outrightly refute all the allegations you make against my friends on the basis of the above points. BECAUSE - O Lord! The Almighty! You would be moved by the disclosure which is going to come now - Today is Maha Shivratri! Your day, God - and you would be glad to know that my friends are fasting - Just having some leafy stuff - that's what they call a veg food - indeed a big deal for them. Also guess what? Yes! no non veg cuisine in the college mess. You are ought to appreciate that fortitude, Lord. No, its not a once in a while affair. Some of my mates fast on Tuesdays too (For The Hanuman Ji in you) and wait - Some on Thursdays too(For one of the abc God's in you). Ya. Trust me! Now are you convinced with the fact that how justified they are in having a perfect diet they have?

Don't be so rude O Lord! Are you trying to call them hypocrites? Well! I must not object to all your opinions. I am in the good list of yours. Don't want to tarnish my image for sure. Wink ;). But Hey! You have to consider my plea. You ain't that bad. Are you?

Do consider their considerations they make while grabbing a "RED DOTTED" food can. They just can't resist the temptation. But they do. They do it for you, O Lord! And you call them hypocrites? Huh. So Rude of you! :(

'Sorry" - More than just a Word Said!

As I removed the wrapper from one of my favourite Cadbury's Fruit and Nut after lunch at 'Casa De Cha' and saw my watch, it said 5 minutes to 1. In the fear of missing the MLR class, which was going to start at 1, I hurriedly took out the chocolate and conjecturing the actual coordinates of the dust bin, tossed the blue cadbury paper towards it. As I turned back, grabbing the change from the restaurant manager, I saw my chocolate wrapper on the floor besides the trash box. The very next word which automatically came out of me was "Ohh...Sorry". A mate immediately asked me whom I said sorry to and gave a vociferous guffaw. This didn't happen for the first time to me. Very often I would be found being asked - "Sorry??? .. To whom buddy?" and every time I would smile and walk along. Did you ask me why don't I answer them? Oh C'mmon! If they could understand the reason, this question would not have been asked at the first place. Right?

You should apologize only when you feel that you have done something wrong - this is what a common philosophy is, isn't it? I am no loner. I too have the same thinking. Its just that what others feel is not wrong, is wrong for me and to an extent where I must say sorry as it puts a great impact on my identity as a sensitive and responsible human being. Every action of mine impacts some one or the other in different ways. The chocolate wrapper, not placed inside the dustbin, was littering the place I walk into very often. This was giving my foreign guests a wrong signal about our lifestyle. I feel every action of mine and weigh its consequences at each point. Be it the statement I make, the way I walk, the stances I take or the behaviour I display - I am answerable - thats my way of life. I thank my father to imbibe these values in me. I am happy that I am adding value to my existence in many ways.

Love me, love my dog :) - If you like it, adopt it.

Cheers!

Happy Teacher's Day!

This post is dedicated to the teachers all over the country who have made me reach to where I am right now. Educating me all through and making me a nice human being. I express my gratitude, on this auspicious day dedicated to teachers, towards the sacrifices made by them in order to inculcate the right learnings, right attitude and right culture within me. A humble thanks to you my teacher for your invaluable contribution in my life. Wish you all a very Happy Teacher's Day! I am using the poem to express my heartfelt thankfulness to all my teachers - (Courtesy - iloveindia.com).

"If I could teach you, teacher,
I’d teach you how much more
You have accomplished
Than you think you have.
I’d show you the seeds
You planted years ago
That are now coming into bloom.
I’d reveal to you the young minds
That have expanded under your care,
The hearts that are serving others
Because they had you as a role model.
If I could teach you, teacher,
I’d show you the positive effect
You have had on me and my life.
Your homework is
To know your value to the world,
To acknowledge it, to believe it.
Thank you, teacher."
- Joanna Fuchs

Life Pursuits - Kabhi This, Kabhi That!!

I cleared my wallet today, tearing and disposing off those CCD bills, movie tickets and ATM receipts. It took me to the wonderful moments I used to be into few months back. That day, on 2nd June'09, as the guard waved the signal, he insinuated me to momentarily forget those comfortable and joyful days I was into, in the cyber city. But I couldn't stop myself doing so. I gaped at the New Delhi railway station, receding in size. The trees, the farms, the electric poles, the waving kids - all bidding me good bye with a mysterious smile. I had no option but to reply with a grin. It was a self chosen change for me which, at that moment, was not at all pleasing. I was deliberating hard on my decisions. I was leaving all those wonderful moments lived there with people whom I loved to be with. Those people had become a part of my life. I still believe the fact that it's the people who make the place worth living and not the place by itself. This is the reason, a city like Gurgaon -which has nothing as such to offer, except a spectacle of a concrete jungle which I used to detest badly - has become one of the nicest places I have ever visited in my life so far.

After around 2 and a half months from this journey as I write this from Goa Institute of Management, where I am currently in, to pursue my PG course of 2 years, I find myself confused and indecisive. Confused by instincts, confused by my desires, confused by my purpose in life. Does someone really think that he or she has just a single objective in life? If someone says so, I refute it outrightly. Ok, let me put it this way which might sound a bit cliched - At any point of time, you have an aim in your life, you run for it badly. You think about it day and night. You put your best efforts to achieve it. But what once you get it? There's another greed to run after. Another short term objective to target for. Another milestone to reach and before we actually realise what we want from our life, it becomes too late. Am I being too philosophical? Ammm!! I dunno. Perhaps Yes.

This is not the first time that someone is writing all these stuffs, many have written it in various forms numerous times. What is the thing to note about here is do we really deliberate on these aspects? Aah. Ya I heard your synchronous NOs. You know what, I left those back, whom I value the most and whom I don't know whether I would be able to meet again in my life. I really doubt that by March' 2011 when I would be leaving this place, I would be content. May be or May be not. Aah, c'mon. Lets move now - wasn't this what you all wanted to say to me. See, I guessed that. :)

I have to stop all this nonsense as the coming Monday is showing its scary face studded with Externalities Theory underlying in the "Congestion Charges in Central London" and the works of B.F. Skinner in the concepts of Organizational Behaviour and loads of other stuffs. I sign off here with yet another short term plan - an obligation that I have to meet and not the purpose I have to achieve in life. Take care all. May God gives us the sanity to achieve the state of self realisation. Lollzzz :)